You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
