so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
