I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
