Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
