All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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