Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
you would pick up someone in the library
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
