We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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