a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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