what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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