Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
