I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
