How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
