who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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