using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
this will be a night to untag.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
