i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
