Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
someone owes me an orgasm
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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