your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Randomize
