we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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