So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
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