It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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