Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
