We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
so let's talk penis.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
