She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
