why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All the doctor said was why
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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