May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
