The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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