what if every blade of grass was a penis?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
