would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Randomize
