I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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