i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
