after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
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