What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
try to milk me bitch
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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