Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
