the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
