I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Randomize
