Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
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sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
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The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
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