I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
