super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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