They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
porn star boner night. come get it.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
