Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
