Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
