The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
