just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
