Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize