drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I am mentally ready for anal.
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