Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
