I like to think it a success when the cops are called
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize