i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
