just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize