but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
