your room smells of hookers.
And success
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize