What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
