i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
so let's talk penis.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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