Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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