I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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