so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Your penis caused this!
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
