I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
