I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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