Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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