Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
