Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
