I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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