Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Watching her eat just hurts me
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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