im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize