i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
