yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
