Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize