My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
