So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit