Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(478): View more from Georgia

she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet

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(704): View more from North Carolina

but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?

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(909): View more from California

it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines

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(619): View more from California

I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got

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(260): View more from Indiana

I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".

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(914): View more from New York

I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore

(508): View more from Massachusetts

it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700

(1-832): View more from Houston, Texas

Why are you like this.

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