I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.