Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
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I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
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possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.