I'm really into asian looking animals
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party